Thoughts

Having a baby changes many things. The existing relationships turn upside down as priorities change. It's 1 p.m. on a Thursday. I have finally managed to calm down the baby. I am also mad that Steve does not have the capacity and the willingness to help with teh baby. By nature he is an impatient person. I am not happy that he gets mad at the baby and also easily gives up on the baby. If something happens to me, all the money should go to the baby and to him. I am afraid he will give up on the baby like his selfish dad. I literally can't afford to die. There is also a law that if the money exceeds $10,000, it cannot be given to the minor. Anyway will see.Apart from that Steve is great. It's not always easy, now that the relationship dynamics have changed but we somehow work through and that is what matters. I am also learning new ways to calm down the baby and work with him. I should have followed my method initially without letting Steve try save money. My method would have saved a lot of headache and I am also starting to realize that I know about the baby more than him. My plan was to get that Sri Lankan babysitter my family knows. $`1600 is a huge money saver knowing she works for us fulltime.Now she is gone anyway and I don't have a way of reversing actions. I also wanted to buy a swing to distract the baby. He cries a lot and it's not easy. Last week I had the 7 hour long deposition and now I am burned out. So I took this entire week off to figure things out. The happy part is that I still have PTO left so I can stillg et some time off I need. I ordered out today. I am so hungry. I can't cook with a constantly crying baby and I also have to study CISSP and increase my income so that we can afford an apartment with an elevator. Getting a 3 bedroom apartment was a waste of money. Hiring a live in nanny just out of the marketplace is scary. We don't know who these people are.