Update

Today I took time to clean the house. I have to stop troubling my uncle. He is dealing with a lot of things himself. Of course he is like a father. I wish I had my parents but at some point you have to move on. You are never going to have get them in other people. And what am I giving my uncle in return for his love and kindness? Nothing. I have already burned bridges. There is no going back. Have to move on. My mental health is going bad a bit. I am feeling disgusted in myself. I love cosleepign with the baby but I am so scared after hearing about SID. I am also a heavy sleeper. I cant count in myself to be aware while I am sleeping. I think the crib is the safest for the baby. Once he passed a year, I am going to take him to the bed. He is the sweetest thing in this planet. I love him so much. I am happy to be helping my brother in a way. I was walking today and saw homeless people on the road, addicted to drugs and sleeping like animals, with less clothing in them. I realized that this could have been my brother. He was barely makign anythign at HSBC and was going downhill. Got him enrolled in a degree. Now I am watching him struggle but making it in life SLOWLY. At least that's something. He is starting to look better too.

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