Update

I have been dying to write the blog entry today but unfortunately baby has been crying on and off that I hardly had time to write. So I received discovery from AvePoint. In fact my attorney shared only a selected few. I am also getting second thoughts if they have bought out my attorney because she seems less aggressive now and more cooperative towards them. Well I can always appeal the case if I fail. Needless to say I have tons of evidence of AvePoint violating compliance and laws. And Chris being the main point of those, it's essenntial. He was always careful not to leave a paper trail. The fact that he still has not left the organization but Tim had, says a lot. I wonder what happened. I bet James is still there. One thing i learned from AvePoint is to SPEAK even if your voice shakes. Speak up or leave but never tolerate. At Burns, it's just an employer to me. I have my passion projects outside, hobbies etc. I really want to take this case public and use it to elevate my career, change hte laws and address the general corruption in our field. At the same time I am wondering how it can jeapordize my career beacsue I will be seen as a misfit, rebel, a person who sued their employer. And it's not always positive. It can make other employers hesitant in hiring me. Anyway they can find my case through public records. I am infuriated that Chris lied and created conflicts among team members by withholding information, giving intentionally wrong directions to get me fired. He did fire me and as usual he is hiding behind the curtain while setting Dana up as the spokesperson. The point here is to get him out of it. I wonder if we can request a deposition. Katy is hardly responsive. I am already speaking to a publicist. I feel like blowing up this damn corporate and just really making use of my life to make change. Then again I am looking at the final destination i want to be at and I am hesitant. I am really mad seeing AvePoint's discovery information. So many lies. Seeing how Chris intentionally did all these to get rid of me and lied like hell just infuriates me. I was right. I was damn right from the start yet I kept silent and second guessed myself. This is the worst part about myself. I don't trust my gut. My heart was telling to speak up at group meetings but I never did. And it was a perfect set up for Chris to keep elevating in his lying game. I should have left in May or I should have spoken up more at the team meetings to get him caught. Yet I never did. I should also have recorded all the meetings I had with him. I regret all this. I am a cross road. Part of me wants to keep fighting and anoterh part of me wants to settle and just move on. If I keep fighting it can also cost my future career because I will be seen as someone who could potentially sue my future employers as well and people won't hire me. If I settle, then I can expunge the case record and move on and get my money. There are people who have sued their employers and still elevated in their careers so it won't be so bad. My chance is the deposition. I have to memorize all the dates and the content. Good thing is that the deposition got pushed so I have more time to memorize the dates. Then I have the CISSP exam scheduled for 9/22. I need to practice at least 2000 questions. I am exhausted with the baby. He cries constantly and I don't get time. And Monday I have work. It drives me nuts when I think about it. Steve is depressed too and it puts more burden on me because I can't ask for help when he is depressed. He watches the baby for a few hours because I really want time off. Today I slept with the baby for the most part and it was relaxing. Baby has got into the habit of sleeping in the bed with me. It's risky. I have to stop it until he passes year. I wish I can work while he sleeps with me breastfeeding. But it's impossible. I am also a bit hurt because my uncle is again distant from me. It's sad. Ties are broken. The moment I left Ajantha mama's house that's when the ties were severed with everyone and none of my family can keep contact with me due to the conflict. I wish I stayed. Looking back, that's something I regret. I wish I tolerated and stayed without leaving. I was a free bird. I could not be tied. But having a family means so much. It chnaged my life. I became happier and more succcessful thanks to them. My next action is to excel in the deposition. Best course of action is to settle. My heart says to go for the trial but it can cost my career. I leanred a lot from this. Speak up or leave. Also this year has been a beautiful year so far. I got married. We had a baby. Our very first cute little baby. So perfect. I helped aiya enroll at a university. Aiya got a new job. AvePoint motion to dismiss was denied (last year though) and I got promoted. Yes! New few action items are getting through CISSP and the deposition. I will hire a babysitter for a couple of days just until I get prepped for these two. Then I am starting work again next Monday. Anxious and excited both. Anxious becaue I don't know how I will manage with a baby and he is always needy and wants to be held while I need my both arms to work. Excited because I feel normal seeing the work folks again. I also think I should switch teams slowly because my current team does not have any potential for growth even though it helps me with remote work since I have a baby. Also all those psychics I used to go to and pour out my heart out to are deadly wrong. Only one was right, Attaram who is nowhere to be found. Now that I am looking at AvePoint documents, I see that my gut feeling was right all along. I NEED TO TRUST MYSELF MORE AND HAVE MORE CONFIDENCE IN MYSELF, NOT SECOND GUESS MYSELF