My birthday

We are all broken adults, trying to live a fantasy maybe or some dream we yearned for. Today is my birthday and I am not doing anything. It's like those days I was at the hostel alone dreaming of a day I will have a family again to celebrate birthdays. Now that I have a family it's still like the days I spent at the hostel. I miss those birthday celebratiosn we did with my mum. My brother today got so excited when I said we are going on a family trip.But we aren't. What's missing is that Steve is not excited about celebrations. We talked about it. He has been depressed for a year or so. It is affecting me as well. I told him that frankly and now he is so upset by it. He said many women told him the same. He said he can't be with me anymore and he is done with me. I am too exhausted to even cry or be sad about it. I need to focus on getting things done. I was just trying to be honest with him so that he will try to be positive but rather he became defensive and started hating me for telling it. I should not have told him that. I should have just pretended everything is fine. I lost the interest in celebrating the birthday anyway. Tomorrow I will go somewhere with the baby and celebrate it and it will be nice. It's okay :) I don't want someone to think of it as a chore.

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